Ripe With Consternation

Minions,

Over the last month I’ve had time to reflect on what I feel is crucial in my life right now: Family, friends, music, perhaps a soul mate sometime soon. And though I’ve tried to build towards something greater, I seemed to have gotten lost in the flux; cloudy, grey, unclear. I was blocked somehow from moving forward.

But I heard something a few days ago, and it’s helped me to remember, to focus on what truly is important:

“Take your stinking paws off me, you damn, dirty ape!"

Let me be clear, I have no quarrel with simians as a whole; indeed I respect their persistence at expressing themselves, as well as their more lucrative skill at excrement tossing. It’s just that, I want them so much to be like ‘Curious George’…Perhaps a little on the stupid side, but cute as hell, with no discernable feces-hurling inclinations. But I don’t think having them wear diapers reflects some sort of human closeness. It’s really just wrong. And what right do monkeys have wearing Baby Gap clothing?! Shouldn’t we be doling those up for actual baby humans?

Monkeys are filthy creatures, no matter how closely they cling to us on the evolutionary tree. And I’d truly hoped to live in a world where we both might co-exist freely. But they just don’t get it and I’m threadbare with patience.

I can only say, whatever trials I’m experiencing, whatever character flaws I must continue to improve upon - at least I bathe myself fairly regularly.

So I guess that’s something...